An Account of a Disgusting and Deplorable set of actions against an Innocent Child!

 

Some years ago a young man in his thirties gave me a written account of an event in his life:

I knew about this event, but didn’t really know how painful it was to me until my wife asked me the question around whether I was abused as a child. That question just triggered my memory about it and I started crying, saying over and over again things like: “Why did he do this to me?” “I did nothing wrong.” “I was just a little boy.”

I remember when I was about 4 or maybe 5 years old at a family gathering, this young guy, started at first taunting me. He did things like putting me on his shoulders and walking back and forth under a low doorway bashing my head continuously. I don’t remember all the things that happened, except being petrified of him as he kept threatening me that if I cried or screamed that he would kill me and my family. For hours he just kept verbally and physically aggressive. My brother saw some of it. I think he also threatened him. I remember feeling really trapped and scared. I couldn’t cry or do anything because I knew he’d hurt me more. I just wanted to escape and get to my parents but he made sure I couldn’t.

He later took me outside in a park and took my pants off. He was saying my penis was an ugly, disgusting thing. He then started poking at it with a stick, slapped at it a few times, threw things at me. He was laughing, telling me something like I should be ashamed of myself. He also kept threating me. He then saw some people coming from a distance, he then said I should be ashamed of myself for having my pants down and showing this to him, saying something like: “Look there’s girls coming, aren’t you disgusted by yourself, they’ll come here and start laughing at you too.” I can’t remember how I got away, but I managed eventually to get to my Dad.

I told him about it. I’m not sure how much because I was scared. All he did was to tell me I should stay away from him. I felt really let down by that. I also felt let down by my brother not doing anything. I remember the guy was staring at me for the rest of the afternoon in the same threating way. I felt like if I said anything more he’d start again and maybe hurt my family.

I didn’t ever cry about this event or really tell anyone about it, I think I just dismissed it. I know I’ve suppressed a lot ot it. But when it came out I only realized the pain  I held inside over it and that it’s been a large factor in the disturbances I’ve had all my life, (especially in regard to sex and shame and self-loathing).

The perpetrator of these shameful acts would now be a man in his late forties. I know his name but very little else about him.

1 Comment

  1. Family and friends gather for a matriarch’s 80th birthday celebration | Stories by David Wall said,

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